Kei Graves, a student success coach and one of the founding members of the Sexual Orientation and Gender Equity Committee on campus, identifies as queer or non-binary and has used online dating. Graves found his spouse of six and a half years by using online dating.
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Danthea Redwood
Special Correspondent
&
Kent Springborn Jr.
Staff Writer
Like a Box of Chocolates
“If you’re in a relationship or trying to date someone you want to put out the full first of who you are at the beginning and then let them make their decisions on you as it goes,” said Lorain County Community College student Gami Torres, “Especially with online dating, people like to embellish themselves a lot.”
According to the Pew Research Center, online dating is most common among Americans in their 20’s through their mid-40’s. In 2015, more than 40 percent of Americans and 27 percent of young adults ages 18 to 24 years old report using online dating sites, up from 10 percent in 2013.
“I’ve found out that it’s easier to communicate with other people when you’re behind a medium,” said Torres, “I’m not going to say that you’re hiding behind something, but it’s like that.”
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“If I want to get your attention instead of going up to your table and talking to you I’ll say ‘Oh she has a Plenty of Fish account I’m going to send her a message,’” Torres explained.
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According to the Pew Research Center, about one-in-five 18 to 24 year olds now report using mobile dating apps. While the stigma towards online dating has lowered, mobile dating apps like Tinder have received a negative view from many people.
“Some people are online for serious purposes, but most of the people are just there for hookups,” said LCCC student Katie Torma, an early childhood education major.
“I don’t like going off of first judgement and if people don’t have much in their profile it feels like a waste of time,” said LCCC student Alexandra Sauer on Tinder.
5 percent of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online. Torres found someone someone that he was in a relationship for over a year and Torma met her previous partner online and they dated for five years.
“You never know what you’re really going to get,” said Torres.
Proceed with Caution
Kei Graves, a student success coach and one of the founding members of the Sexual Orientation and Gender Equity Committee on campus, identifies as queer or non-binary and has used online dating. Graves found his spouse of six and a half years by using online dating.
“I’m a success story,” he said, “We started off as friends and it turned into something else. It worked out really well for me.”
Graves feels that it is harder for members of the LGBTQ community to find someone through the use of online dating. He feels that there are more complications or considerations in trying to find someone of similar interest.
In general, online dating can have its pros and cons. You get a preview of what the person is like before you contact them. It also can make it easier to strike up a conversation with someone.
However, you could also end up meeting people who have other ideas of it is that you both want and being different than what their profiles say. You also run the risk of receiving some unwanted messages from people.
Graves does warn that people should be cautious when dating online. He also suggests that they should meet in public or take a friend with them.
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“Be cautious about getting to know that person,” Graves said.
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Overall, Graves believes that the biggest thing is to try not being focused on finding “the one” when exploring the world of online dating.